Planning with Your North Star: A Wedding That Feels Like You
When sailors navigated by sea, they didn’t need to know the name of every star in the sky. They just needed one. Something constant, steady, and true. Their North Star.
Wedding planning can feel a lot like being adrift in a sky full of stars. Opinions, traditions, Pinterest boards, endless checklists, it’s easy to feel lost. Couples often tell me: “We don’t even know where to begin.”
The truth? You don’t need every answer right now. You just need your North Star.
Why Checklists Fall Short
Checklists can be useful, but let’s be honest: they often create more stress than clarity.
They’re built for convention, not connection.
They come from external voices, not your inner truth.
They keep you busy, but not always aligned.
If you’ve ever felt that twinge of “This doesn’t feel like us” while ticking off tasks, it’s because a checklist can’t tell you who you are.
The North Star Approach
Your North Star isn’t another task list. It’s a symbol of orientation.
It’s the vision, values, and essence of what you want this celebration to mean not just what you want it to look like.
Your North Star holds questions like:
✨ What kind of energy do we want to feel on the day?
✨ What do we want our guests to experience with us?
✨ What story do we want to be able to tell years from now about this time?
When the noise gets overwhelming, your North Star is where you look up and remember: This is what matters most.
A Story of Quiet Rebellion
I’ve always had a bit of a rebellious streak. Growing up in a traditional African household, I learned early what it felt like to want freedom, to question, to carve my own way. For a long time, I softened that part of myself to keep the peace. But as I got older, I realised: rebellion doesn’t always mean breaking away, it can mean breaking open.
That’s why I love working with quietly rebellious couples. The ones who feel the pull to honour tradition and honour themselves.
One couple I worked with came from an Indian background, where a 300+ guest wedding was the norm. They loved their families deeply, but the thought of following every ritual left them heavy, not joyful. Their North Star? Intimacy, connection, and joy.
So we worked together to honour the parts of tradition that resonated with them while creating new rituals that reflected their love story. Their families felt included, they felt free and above all, it felt like them.
That’s the power of having a North Star.
How to Find and Follow Your North Star
If you’re craving less overwhelm and more ease, here are a few ways to root into your own guiding star:
Define It Together
Set aside a quiet evening and ask each other: “What three words do we want to describe our wedding?” Write them down. These words are your North Star.Use It as a Compass
Every time you face a decision: guest list, budget, traditions, hold it up to your North Star. Ask: Does this choice bring us closer to the energy and meaning we named?Return to It Often
Your North Star isn’t a one-time exercise. Revisit it at key moments: booking a venue, designing a ceremony, or when stress sneaks in. Let it anchor you.
This is how mindful wedding planning works—it doesn’t eliminate logistics, but it softens the overwhelm and brings you back to clarity. It transforms “How to plan a wedding that feels like us?” from a scary question into a lived experience.
When the night sky feels overwhelming, you don’t need every star. You just need your North Star.
In wedding planning, that means choosing orientation over obligation. It means planning a celebration that reflects your truth, not just ticking someone else’s boxes.
So take a breath. Lift your gaze. Trust your North Star.
And if you’re ready to discover yours with support, reflection, and clarity, this is exactly what The Wedding Wayfinder is designed for, a guided coaching series to help you anchor into your values and plan with ease, not pressure.